Greetings from us of the unfashionable footwear again. I tempt you to read further down this column to find out about two earth shattering events in the international bowling world. But first:
In our recent Charity Match, in aid of Air Ambulance, which attracted some of the finest regional bowlers we raised £400. Alan Gaffney came second, winning an undisclosed amount, spent in a dark corner of the Star Bar on a few glasses of clear fluid with some rattling ice cubes. The Club says thanks to all who participated, helped & donated. We never know if we may need the service, funded entirely by donations.
We had a very successful Rock ‘n’ Bowls in Wakes Week. Thanks for joining in, giving bottles & raffle prizes. We would like to give special thanks to Gibby (meat), Heather & Wayne (bread) & Holdsworth’s (trimmings) for donating the food that makes it such a particularly good event. Congrats to winners Ken Fawcett & Phillip Turner, a man to look out for!
TBC make HISTORY: we have made it to the final of the Buxton Monday League Chell Shield Comp. We played Chapel B, a team not to be trifled with, at Burbage Green. This green is for most bowlers, bowling hell. I would rather have root canal tooth surgery done through my anus (medical term, readers) without anaesthetic rather than play there, but play we had to. And play we did. It was a tight, tense, nail bitingly tough match. We WON by two points – but the cream on our bowling coffee was that we had a handicap advantage of twenty-four that we DIDN’T need. Chapel were graceful losers – I use graceful advisedly! (News of the final next time.)
INTERNATIONAL BOWLING BREAKING NEWS: LATEST CLUB COMPETION.
In an emotional post match interview a tearful Mr. Flint had to reluctantly admit that, ‘I was so confident that with my newly honed skills it was all going for me, my heart was soaring like a hawk, I could see the bowling green below me with my woods just trickling in.’ I discreetly paused the interview whilst Mr. Flint blew his nose, wiped his eyes & regained that so familiar cool & calculating composure. In the meantime, whilst he was doing that, I had to retreat to the spiritual home of our team, the Star Bar, so that our sponsors Amy & Tim, could ply me with a few scoops of their restorative fine ale; I too was feeling that infectious emotion.
Oh dear readers; Mr Flint was six one ahead when calamity unfurled; Tony Mills, last year’s winner of this prestigious Eric Simpson trophy, calmly, very calmly, unleashed his secret weapon; a brand new & eye wateringly expensive Purdy shotgun to blast Flinty’s (at this stage of the interview we were getting on familiar terms) eye in the sky out of the clear blue yonder. As his buckshot ridden, tattered bird fluttered forlornly groundwards Flinty’s concentration failed him. Tony, ruthlessly, calculatingly & very deliberately played six straight marks down the side of the green to win twelve six. Congratulations Tony & hard luck Paul. But if it’s any consolation, I’ve ‘phoned a vet who assured me if you get the parrot there, for thus it was – not a hawk, for serious restorative surgery it’ll be OK but not available for the rest of the season. Commiserations to losing semi-finalists Cath Wain & Angela White.
Griff.
Amy & Tim, The Star Bar, sponsor the TBC Monday Night Buxton League Team.